Everything turns back on us

I miss you so much,

I long for your touch,

what I wouldn't do for one kiss,

just to consume and swallow this miss.

All I wish now is to see you,

to know what it is to be you,

and these letters that I preach

describe the way I want to reach

your skin and scent as I lean

over to tell you what I mean,

if only you could hear my words,

if only I could move forwards.

I shouldn't write these letters,

they pass as light as feathers,

I wish you would say "Let's

forget the scars and stop frets!".

***

Here, next to you I stand alone,

I play to be cold to the bone,

no acts will make you see

I still flow for you and flee.

Честит рожден ден, мамо!

Скъпа майчице мила,

ти, която си ме родила

и с мъки си ме кърмила,

безсънни нощи съм ти причинила,

на всичко ти си ме учила,

каквото и да сторя, няма да съм се отблагодарила.

Майко, честит рожден ден ти пожелавам,

прекланям се пред твойта святост и се извинявам

за всички нерадости, които ти причинявам,

падам на колене, прегръщам те и обещавам

в живота аз да не забравям,

че ти си най-ценното, което притежавам!

Mind sickness

I know there are no rhymes but I decided not to edit it and post it in it's exact primary form...

My empty mind is screaming in silence.

It's not depression nor aggression.

It's not hatred nor desperation.

The apathy is not enough to describe it.

I just don't know what am I thinking...

I have no wish for anything,

I have no energy to breathe.

If only I knew what's happening,

I'd runaway from it.

Dunno how to change everything,

dunno what I want.

It's like I sleep with open eyes,

it's like I feel with closed heart.

I carry on like a lost soul without a body.

Is my body here? Am I still alive or am I dreaming?

Is it psychics or physics

that's causing me this lost of consciousness?

Something hurts but I don't know what!

Someone pushes me but I can't see him!

I hear voices but I can't listen to them.

I write words and I forget them.

Is it my hands that's writing?

Is this my body that I'm in?

That's it!

It feels like I'm not in my own body,

it's like I don't really feel what I feel.

Someone else possesses me now,

someone is stealing my soul,

grabbing from it's material!

COMATOSE...

Ok, I finished it already, now what?...

Smoking blue dust

Like a bird I fly,

like the wind I sight,

as a star in the sky

in the waves I die.

Егоизъм

Още първи ден, а вече искам да се връщам,

като в първи ден твойто тяло да прегръщам,

бленувам да усетя пак ръцете ти,

нежно да докосна аз лицето ти.

Като чиста сладост усещам твоят мирис,

от цвят червен се разширява твоят ирис,

като огън върху лед си ти за мен,

неконтролируем хаос, безсистемен.

Само първи ден, а вече искам да се върна,

като в първи ден твойте чувства да обгърна,

като огнен скреж да впия бледи устни,

да слеем сърцата ни, на вид невръстни.

For you...

Together Against The Law

I notice you among the shoal,

I see you at the end of the hall,

I hear you in the impervious gall,

I feel the sulphurous haul

and I touch your lips in appall. 

I don't care about the intense brawl.
Fuck them all!

We're together against the wall.

Through the path of sorrow

Sister of pain

coming to drain

my blood in champaign

for the sister of vain.

 

Sister of shame

burning from my flame,

claiming I'm to blame

for this unfair game.

Sister of confusion

calling in delusion,

no one coming for transfusion,

I stood without a conclusion. 

Sister of tears,

people think she clears

your mind from fears

but nothing disappears.

Sister of knowledge

giving away her storage

that I have to receive in college,

too early to acknowledge.

 

All sisters of sorrow

are here for my marrow,

to walk me through this narrow

path I chose to harrow.

 

Never forgotten fairytale

Once upon a time

there was this lonely girl,

living like a mime,

she gave it a whirl.

'It's a real whirl', she thought,

although it was still not enough,

she knew what she really sought,

until she'd found it, it was tough.

 

So once upon an accidental time

this not so lonely girl

wrote the beginning rhyme

and threw herself in the real whirl.

 

Her infernal blessing

began in this random day,

now she started dressing,

her soul she could display.

 

And once upon a time 

she had so much companionship,

pursued her loneliness to be prime,

she was taking her wanted trip.

 

I'm here to catch her when she falls,

she deserved to live at last,

no more prison among these walls,

she won't forget about her past.

 

Now once upon this time

everything seems weirdly alright,

she feels satisfied and I'm

her mirror, soul sister in delight.

Colorful black hole

I'm not afraid of the dark,

wearing my colorless sark,

standing in my elusive ark,

I'm afraid of the spark.

It the park daily I take

my dose of blessed fake,

trying to forsake,

wanting to awake.

I don't sing my songs anymore,

I don't play them more and more,

fighting in my own exhausting war,

all I wanna do is touch the floor.

So many things I can't resist,

from one to another I still twist,

not even knowing what I insist,

I just know I want to exist.

Don't want to feel so confused,

even though I'm still not accused,

I thought I can't be amused,

maybe I wished to be fused.

Everything has to slow down,

to stop before I drown

and regret for calling a noun,

can't run away from this town.

Here I'll leave this final mark,

I'll exist and I will hark

and maybe I'm afraid of the dark,

maybe I'm desperate for the spark.

Now I wanna get back in my ark

and put on my colorless sark,

just to go back in the park,

I just want to exist and hark...

Defeat and victory

In the temple of Adam and Eve

sin of revenge I interweave

and what I want to achieve

is what I touch and perceive.

Time to make up my mind,

it is not one of a kind

my daydreams always inclined,

I think your time is confined.

You're too wet behind the ears,

I should support these pioneers

but nothing is as it appears,

it's deeper after so many years.

It happens at the eleventh hour,

I envy your ivory flour,

you know I can devour,

if only I want to scour.

I've been beating my brains out

but you've never been devout,

this is my revenge, there's no doubt

now you pay for the forgotten flout.

The blue-white experiment

Damned darkness, I've dreamt about you last night.

A handsome undead, you gave me your cold bite.

In the doll shop everything was oddly alright,

in the doll shop I've bitten your neck white

and kissed the red marks with a subtle blight,

despite the manner I stole this tender flight,

pale white stardust, our secret rite.

Damned darkness, I've dreamt about you last night...

You put a smile on my face

Listening to your word,

liking what I've just heard,

link is what I overheard.

Lacing to you is the point,

lapping until I disjoint,

leave now and you take my joint.

Laws don't exist if you're near,

lips touch, don't you fear,

let it fade 'till it's all clear!

Happy bunny

 

Damaged sunrise

You don't know and you suppose

that you run away from those

who never tried to raise a rose

and that's how everything blows.

 

So you risk and throw up a dime

but you can't do that, it's not prime!

That's what happens if you don't live on time.

Do you see yourself? You're so sublime!

Now you look for somebody to blame,

you chose that path and you complain

and so you've lost your temper again,

you've left in me a permanent stain.

Majesty

A massive sound drives you away

and you feel like a powerful god,

to the forceful rhythm then you obey,

it gives you the fire and the rod!

The specter affliction

Now look what the infinity brought,

again in a spider net I'm caught,

in my mind there's one painful thought,

a pain that I have never sought.

Turns out that to myself I'm unknown

and I'm rolling in the same old cone,

I knew there's something we can't postpone,

it was time for it to be shown.

If you are my mirror now I wonder,

I lied to myself and that's my thunder,

I saw a reflection - another blunder,

I feel there's something I can't put under.

A minute of peace I desire

so I leave and transpire,

even my peace is a mire,

you're the water and the fire.

Now I've lost the track of time,

that's the high point of my crime,

I am ruptured by your chime,

I wanna get out of this lime.

I can see the slightest peace of gleam,

I have lost my mind in a peculiar dream,

I guess it's already time to seam.

You still there? - that was the theme...

My new wave

If I sign - would you follow?

I've always wanted to climb.

Old habits are hard to swallow

and I jump just for one rhyme.

I hope this time it isn't hollow,

but I hope that every time...

The last thing

You've been standing in front of the stairs,

now you're already holding a cigar.

There's a common feeling that everyone shares

and you never know how high the stairs are.

You were already on the first step naturally,

still not knowing what you can bare,

you were seeing everything so liberally,

you could change it, if only you would dare.

You were already in the first hall,

didn't know where to begin,

you had no idea how fast you can fall

so you carelessly started to spin.

When did you realize that you're in?

Still not knowing about the light.

Did you feel it deep within,

that something was not right?

Now you could feel the new wave,

the one that no one can scent,

you were in an unknown cave

and you started to resent.

You didn't know for surely

if you have to be frightened.

Why is it so early,

are you damned or brightened?

Now you're standing on your feet,

you feel everyone's fresh sting,

you know you have crossed the street

but still there is one more thing...

Infinity

And again I'm starting something unreal,

I'm repeating the same old mistake.

If it ends I don't know how I'll heal,

it is suffocating like a snake.

I'm closing my eyes for everything around,

for so long the memory didn't fade.

There's a cloud overhead and I wear it as a crown,

it can't be removed with nobody's aid.

I don't know how did I get so far,

the snake keeps suffocating but I need no air.

And it's lighter now when there is a star,

as long as I can bear its beautiful glare.

The strangest feeling

I want to scream open-mouthed,

the room is getting tighter,

everything is hazy and clouded,

the room keeps getting brighter...

Cactus

Every flower needs to be irrigated with water,

needs to be heard when it's calling an alert,

every flower needs to have a daughter,

it's hard to be a flower in the desert.

Awareness

The morning came, wanted,

and broke the mist, haunted,

I no longer care about them,

now I know who I am!

The Nothing

In her eyes there was a flash,
energy pouring from her lifeblood,
it came and turned light into ash,
all that happened was a little thud.

Trust

The world is so clear,

everything is filled with lust,

there is no fear,

we breathe pure stardust,

the world is her leer.

Imprisoned

 She's there among the red roses,

where the Snow Queen dances,

sleet covers her lifeless wrist,

light blasts from her very orris.